She thought that maybe after so long eventually everything that happened before X-Factor would be nothing but a hazy memory, a blur in the back of her brain that couldn’t be cleared enough to see properly no matter how hard she tried. But she soon realized that no matter how much time had lapsed since the last shove into the side of a locker, the last push onto the school hallway floor, or the last name-calling, nothing could erase those painful memories completely.
She still remembered the teasing she endured from one specific group of girls as clear as day. Since 2nd grade it was as if they had sworn to make her life a living nightmare from then on out. Cassie, Jessica and Tegan started their tormenting soon after 2ndgrade had started when Camila won a class spelling bee because Jessica had messed up a word that Camila ended up getting right. After that it was like those three girls went out of their way to make Camila’s life miserable every chance they could. It got so bad to the point that one day in 3rd grade after the girls had locked Camila in the classroom when she went to go get her jacket for recess, she came home and her cousin Micah had called and told her dad what had happened. When he asked Camila why he didn’t tell them about it right after she got home, she admitted that things like that had happened so often, she had forgotten all about it. Her mom and dad went to the school the next day and told the principal what had happened but all the principal really did was warn the 3 girls and after that the cycle was left to continue like it always had.
She thought back to those days where she hid in her room watching all the one direction youtube videos she could find, only because that felt like such a superior option to having to face the ridicule she received from everyone else around her. She had her small group of friends but even they didn’t always understand what she was going through completely. She wanted to fit in with the other girls at school, she truly did. But there was just something that kept her from connecting 100% with the other girls and she cursed herself everyday because of it. The teasing that had begun back in elementary school had only intensified, now it wasn’t just the three girls after her it was guys too. She remembered one incident where Cassie had dared a boy named Nico to ask her out and when she arrived at the place they had decided to meet up, she was left there for an hour before she realized she had been set up. She didn’t live that one down for weeks and even after that had died down they just found more ways to humiliate her.
The first person out of the group she confided in about her past was Lauren. Not like she had much choice after she had woken up Lauren from her crying after a horrid nightmare about the time Cassie, Jessica and Tegan cornered her in the bathroom and lashed out at her, calling her every spiteful name they could think of(“Tramp” and “Fat bitch” seeming to be the favourites) and told her if she ever tried to talk to Declan, Tegan’s boyfriend, again she’d be sorry (though Declan was the one who only asked her about the upcoming Social Studies assignment, and who was she to be rude and not let him know about it?). It was the first day she had ever left school because of the bullying and she remembered all too well running down several blocks to her house and collapsing onto her bed in tears, finally reaching her breaking point after 5 years of non-stop ridicule for absolutely no reason at all. Lauren brought her onto one of the decks of the mansion and sat her on her lap, rubbing her back comfortingly as she tried to calm Camila down as they sat on one of the large patio chairs. When Camila had calmed down enough to tell Lauren why she was crying, she only watched the older girl look at her in pitty as she told her about her dream.
“Camz, it’s alright. They’re not here. They can’t hurt you anymore.” Lauren told her soothingly, her words coming out in a comforting whisper that only Camila would be able to hear.
“I K-know, b-but it s-still g-gets to m-me you know?” Camila sniffled.
“They t-treated me like shit for s-so long and I-I thought that a-after all this it wouldn’t matter t-to me anym-more but it just d-doesn’t go a-away.”
“Hey, look at me.” Lauren says and Camila looks the older girl right in the eyes.
“You never have to deal with them again. While you’re on stage living your dream, they’ll be the ones out in the crowd wishing they had treated you a hell of a lot better than they did. And even if they try to tear you down again, they’ve got us to deal with and there’s no way in hell we’ll let them get away with it.”
This and more comforting words from Lauren seem to calm Camila down and after a while she nearly falls asleep on the patio chair but Lauren makes sure she makes it back inside and into her bed before that happens. Lauren can tell Camila doesn’t want to be left alone so she crawls in beside her.
“Lo?” Lauren hears Camila mumble out tiredly.
“Yea, Camz?”
“Thank you.”
No words are needed as Lauren inches her way closer and holds Camila comfortingly, the girls bodies molding together like two perfect puzzle pieces. She knows that won’t be the last time she wakes up from a nightmare related to what she went through back in school, but with Lauren there she knows it will be easier to deal with.
When the interviewer asks her about having such a strong influence on everyone else, she begins to really think about her new role in life and how much of a voice she has now. Every time she hears a fan tell her that she’s been the reason they’ve made it through another day it’s almost hard to keep the tears in. Because she’s been there. She’s been that person that needs that reason to keep going because life is complete and utter shit some days. She’s been that person locked up in her room watching youtube videos of her famous idols because they’re truly the only ones who bring her so much joy after having to deal with the hell that is High School. That’s why she’s the one to cry as she tells the interviewer just how much that means to her personally, and that’s why in that moment, as the rest of the girls comfort her while she wipes away her tears, she mentally swears to herself she’ll never once take that type of power for granted.
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